


Come Back to Me

by Piper_Halliwell1979



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Love Confessions, M/M, Season/Series 11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 19:57:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6391105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piper_Halliwell1979/pseuds/Piper_Halliwell1979
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam convinces Dean that opening up to Cas may get him to cast out Lucifer</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come Back to Me

'I'm in love with an angel, heaven forbid-' nope. Dean changes the station on the Impala's radio. 'Just call me angel in the morning, baby-' Damnit. He tries another station. 'Wise men say only fools rush in-' What?

"I give up," Dean muttered. Everything reminded him of Cas. Ever since the revelation that Lucifer had taken him over, Cas was all Dean could think about. There was a constant ache in his chest. He lay awake at night debating if he should take the chance to pray to Cas. He spent any free time researching to find anything to help free Cas of his sadistic older brother. 

And then there was the night he tried to drink a bottle of Wild Turkey like it was apple juice and wound up sobbing on the kitchen floor in Sam's arms. For Sam's part he held him and encouraged him to let it all out. Then he carried the exhausted man to his room and told him they were going to have a long talk later. Later was around noon the next day over aspirin and strong coffee.

"I'm sorry for losing it last night Sammy. I feel so fucking useless. I can't save Cas, I can't kill Amara..."

Sam put a hand on Dean's arm. "You're not useless, Dean. You always come back to each other. You can't even die to get away from each other. You two have the greatest love story ever told. I'm still holding out for your happily ever after."

"Sam, what the fuck are you talking about?" Dean's eyebrow raised. His hangover induced headache was pounding at his temples. 

"It's been eight years. Eight years of intense eye fucking. Eight years of you looking at Cas' lips like they're made of apple pie. Don't sit there and deny that you guys are a couple. Cas pretty much came out and told me when he said you have a 'profound bond.' I thought that was Cas-speak for sleeping together. I don't know why you thought you had to hide it from me. I love you both."

Dean fought the urge to puke on the floor. Sam's words clocked him right in the breadbasket. He had acted like a jealous and possessive lover for years. They broke up, they made up. They'd had stupid flings that meant nothing more than to prove something to each other. The only thing they weren't doing was sleeping together. He'd never even told Cas he loved him. He'd always stopped just short of it.

"Still with me, Dean? I thought we were being more open with each other. Talk to me."

"You're half right," Dean started. He sipped at his coffee and eyed the aspirin bottle. He may toss back a couple more. "Cas and I have never been...together. Closest we got was a drunken kiss and grope and we both acted like it never happened the next day. But I've acted like a shitty boyfriend even if I wasn't one. He went and let Lucifer in because he's still trying to win me over and he doesn't have a fucking clue that he doesn't have to. It's all my fault, Sam. That's what hit me like a train last night. It's all my fault. I make bad decisions, he tries to save my ass by doing something more stupid so I save his ass."

"Then this time we break the cycle. We get him back and you tell him you love him and you're never letting him go. End of story."

"Easier said than done. He's an angel. He may love me but I don't think he sees me as 'relationship material'." Dean did the air quotes. He sat in silence across from his brother. His headache was at a functional level.

"Seriously? You and he never..? I told Charlie that Cas was my brother-in-law."

"No wonder she seemed extra smiley and giggly around us. I can't believe you thought I'd hide something like that from you. Have you met me? I'd make out with him in front of you just to see what level bitchface you'd make." Dean allowed himself a thin smile.

Sam huffed a quiet laugh but when he pictured his brother kissing Cas he had more of a warm feeling. He always wanted Dean to find someone to be happy with. Saving Cas was saving Dean. He had an idea but he didn't know how his brother would feel about it.

"Have you prayed to him? We know he's in there. We don't know if Lucifer can hear you too but it would be a lot harder for him to torment Cas if you have him a reason to hold on."

Dean shook his head. "Don't know what to say to him, anyway." He got up to refill his coffee cup. Every motivational speech he'd ever given was ripped off from a movie. He quoted power ballads for romance. He was even at a loss when it came to praying for Cas to come around. Sam was the man of words, he was the man of action. 

"Fine, I'll be your marriage counselor. Are you ready for the 'L' word?" Sam prompted.  
Dean took in a deep breath before a heavy sigh. "I want to. I'm just afraid of it driving him further away."

"You told me you kissed him once. Did it mean something to you?"

"Of course it did, Sam. It took both of us doing tequila slammers to finally do it but we never talked about it again. I thought he considered it a one time deal."

"Goddamnit if you two ever actually talked to each other...Okay, nevermind. Tell him now how it made you feel and that you wished you'd told him sooner. What about the future? Do you want to settle down and have a real life together with him?"

"Yeah, Sam. I've thought about it. I've also thought we may face a LOT of opposition from other hunters over it. Look at Garth. Even if he hadn't changed he still would be ostracized for marrying a Supernatural being. Would me and Cas be hunted over it or could we retire and be left alone?" 

"I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't realize that stuff was going through your head. I really thought you had this on again, off again thing with Cas already. But yeah, tell him all that too. He needs to know you've thought about it and that your doubts come from wanting to protect him." 

"You're right.. Just let me think about some more stuff, sober up...I'm gonna give it a try." Dean walked toward the kitchen door. He paused. "Thank you, Sammy."

Dean retreated to his room. He paced the floor, mulling over his and Sam's conversation. He desperately wanted to reach out, to comfort Cas. He remembered all too well how Lucifer had tormented his brother. And what he was told was likely a fraction of the truth. He just didn't want to fuck it up. He sank down on the edge of his bed and lifted his clasped hands to his chin.

"Cas, I hope you can still hear me. It's been awhile since I've done this. I got used to calling you on the phone or you just being here, with me. Umm...I miss you. I miss you so much. You're my best friend. Fuck...I'm not saying this right." Dean shifted and cleared his throat.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm hurt. It really hurts me that you feel like all you are is a weapon for me to use. Yeah, it may have started out that way but that's before we really got to know each other. I told you that you're family to me, family to Sam. It means I..it means I love you. And you know just how fucking hard that is for me to say. " The tears were welling up and he tried to blink them back.

"Why,Cas? Why would you let that bastard get in your head like that? I know you're strong. I know you think you can control this but what if you're wrong? What if this time you can't come back to me?" He gave in and let the hot tears stream down his cheeks. "I'm giving you a chick-flick moment here, Cas. I'm putting it all out there.

"I meant it. When I kissed you I meant it. It might have taken a lot of liquid courage to make that move but I wanted it. I wanted you. But the next day you acted like it never happened and that was the first of many mistakes I made. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have fought for us." Dean growled and punched the bed. 

"Don't fight to save me. Fight to save US! I want there to be an us. On the other side of all this I want you to come home, and stay. Stay with me, Cas. Please. Be with me. I love you."   
Dean laid down on the bed. He rolled over and longingly stroked the empty side. He wished Cas was there staring back at him.

*****

In the recesses of his mind, Cas was laying on Dean's bed, a bed he'd wished they'd shared. He had long assumed the one time Dean had been romantically affectionate toward him was just drunken loneliness. It would just embarrass him if Cas had mentioned it. He'd believed that all this time. "I love you too, Dean," he whispered to the empty half of his bed. "Just believe in me a little longer and I'll be home."

 


End file.
